Tatiana Kukanova – Dealing With Loss

BY MARC MOSS

My friend Tatiana Kukanova had a great childhood, she had a family who were all very close and she spent lots of time with them all. I knew many of her family and I could see how much love they all had for one another. Just after Tatiana Kukanova turned 31 she sadly lost her Mum after a battle with cancer, and her Uncle the week later. The following year her Grandmother on the same side passed away at 91-years-old, and then just a year afterwards her Grandfather, again on the same side, died at 95-years-old. Naturally this was a brutal three years for Tatiana Kukanova filled with overwhelming sadness, and the way she has handled it has been phenomenal.

Fundraising

Around a year after her mother’s passing Tatiana realized that she needed to do something with all of the energy that she had and that she wanted to help people by raising money for cancer awareness. This goal kept her focused and busy and to date she has raised an incredible $100,000 for a variety of cancer charities. This is a testament of who Tatiana is, that she would take so much of her time and commit it to making sure that others don’t find themselves in the position that she has. Tatiana Kukanova also does a great deal of voluntary work with children with caner in a local hospital.

Therapy

So many people dismiss the idea of having therapy because they think that it is for weak people but that just isn’t the case at all. In fat therapy is a great way of helping you to come to terms with loss and it can also help you to arrange and organize your emotions. Tatiana was very keen on speaking to someone after losing her mother and she often talks about how without that therapy she wouldn’t have been able to come through the last 3 years as well as she has done.

The Right Memories

It is easy for Tatiana to look back at her Mum or her grandparents and remember the suffering which they went through when before they passed away, but doing that would be an injustice to all of the wonderful memories which she has of them. Slowly but surely Tatiana would write down all of the best memories of her family, and she would ensure that her brain prioritized those rather than the darker memories which she had. This is a vital aspect of grieving and it is far from easy to achieve.

Positive

Somehow Tatiana is still one of the most positive people that I know, she looks upon life as a blessing and every day she drinks every last drop of life that she can. Many in her position may go the other way and end up with a nihilistic view of the world, but she has resisted that and realized that there is still a lot of beauty in this world.

I fortunately haven’t had the experience which Tatiana has but watching her cope with this as she has, certainly inspired me to do the same when the time comes.