Spectator: Happy Father’s Day

 

It doesn’t seem possible that we are approaching the half-way mark of the year 2018! Is it possible that Christmas was that long ago? I haven’t paid for some of the Christmas gifts I bought! I’m not sure why June was chosen to be the month when we got around to thinking about good old Dad!

Perhaps someone figured out that Dad needed some kind of “pick-me-up” about this time of year. Everyone loves Dad on Father’s Day. They take him to La Terrazza for dinner and he picks up the tab! I don’t think any father would give up that feeling he gets when a small child presents him with a poorly wrapped gift and says, “Here, Dad, this is for you. I made it!” I’m sure that some of you dads reading this column still have in your possession Father’s day gifts that your children or grandchildren gave you many years ago.

Looking back through the pages of history, the Spectator was able to discover some of the gifts bestowed upon famous fathers by their children:

  • Attila the Hun gave his father three days to get out of town
  • Dr. Freud’s children gave him slipcovers for his couch. He in turn gave his dad five free therapy sessions
  • Little Beethoven gave his father a Fifth for Father’s Day. It was very much appreciated by his dad who drank it all at once!
  • James Whistler, the artist, got a rocking chair from his children. He never got to use it. His mother was always sitting in it!
  • Elvis Presley bought his dad a hound dog!
  • Frank Sinatra’s kids gave him a complete set of Bing Crosby albums.
  • Nero gave his dad a hot foot for Father’s Day.
  • George Washington baked a cherry pie for his dad but forgot to remove the hatchet!
  • The royal children gave their dad, Prince Philip, some loaves of Irish soda bread. He got indigestion!
  • Tom Edison gave his dad the first electric bill for Father’s Day.
  • Marconi sent his father a message in Morse code which the old man is still trying to decipher.
  • President Trump’s kids gave him an autographed photo of Hillary Clinton.
  • Gov. Cuomo, as a kid, gave his dad a bridge made from an Erector Set!
  • Robert De Niro gave his dad a book of curses and foul language. His dad told him what he could do with it!
  • Gene Autry’s kids bought him an album of Roy Rogers hit tunes.
  • The kids of jockey Mike Smith bought him a Merry-go-round for Father’s day.
  • Christopher Columbus got a compass from his kids.
  • Dracula gave his dad a blood testing kit. His kids gave him a wooden stake.
  • It was Tad Lincoln who for Father’s day gave his dad two tickets to see “American Cousin” playing at Ford’s Theatre.
  • Henry Ford’s kids gave him a Chevy for Father’s Day

Happy Father’s Day to all you Dads. May the good Lord bless all of you!