My Predictions for the Year 2015!

unnamedBY THE SPECTATOR
JOHN MALONEY
  • The Mets and Yankees will be in the World Series, (I also believe in the Tooth Fairy).
  • A-Rod will lead the Yankees in hitting and home runs.
  • During January and February, the Knicks will win 15 games in a row. They will play against Albertus Magnus High School and Clarkstown North and South High School’s.
  • The Green Bay Packers will win the Super Bowl.
  • Mayor DiBlasio will turn his back on cops and “moon” them.
  • There will be no snow in this area during August.
  • Our biggest snowfall will occur between February 22 and February 28.
  • During this year, U.P.S and Fed Ex will merge. The new company will be called FED-UP!
  • There will be a mud slide in California this year.
  • In March, President Obama’s birth certificate will be found. He was born in Ireland and his name was Patrick Obama.
  • In April the price of gas will drop to $1.99 a gallon.
  • In May the price of milk will soar to $5.00 a gallon.
  • In March the Hudson River will be frozen!
  • In June, doctors at the Mayo clinic will discover a food that stops the sex drive in women. It’s called the “Wedding Cake.”
  • During this year, the surgeon general will be declared bad for your health.
  • The Leaning Tower of Pisa will finally fall. Too many people leaning against it.
  • During this year, the local paper the Journal News, will print and report more news from Rockland County than from Westchester, Putnam, and Sullivan Counties.
  • The Mets will start the season with 10 straight wins.
  • The Yankees will start the season wondering what to do with A-Rod.
  • July is a bad month for Yankee manager Girardi. He gets fired, Jet former coach Rex Ryan takes over.
  • We will hit 100 degrees in June.
  • Alex Gromack holds his 15th fundraiser since January. So far, no opposition has been announced.
  • At least 10 people will be stabbed in the Bronx on the July 4th weekend.
  • A flying saucer was sited in Rockland County during April and May. It was seen hovering over West Nyack.
  • Ten residents of West Nyack were arrested for hovering over The Clarksville Inn.
  • There will be a bomb threat at the Palisades Mall this year.
  • DNA test on the bodies in Grant’s tomb confirm that the bodies are those of General Robert Lee and Annie Oakley.
  • Donald Trump will open a casino on the Clarkstown Landfill. It will be known as Trump’s Dump!
  • Pope Francis visits New York in September. Gets mugged in Central Park.
  • Commissioner Bratton of the NYPD wants cops to give out more tickets in February. He was the first one ticketed in the “blitz.”
  • In June Al Sharpton discovers that his parents were white. Wears T-Shirt “White is Beautiful.”
  • The old Knicks players, like Bradley, Ewing, and Frazer will suit up and win 10 straight games for the Knicks in March.
  • Yankee pitchers will pitch 2 no-hitters in June and July.
  • In August an Italian cruise ship will sink at the dock! The captain blames it on someone pulling the plug in the bath tub.
  • The editor of the Rockland County Times will win the Pulitzer Prize for Journalism! (Did I tell you I believe in the Tooth Fairy!)
So there you are, dear readers. Have a happy, prosperous and healthy new year.