Stephanie’s Adventures in Singledom: First Date Magic

BY STEPHANIE DOLCE

Everyone who goes on a first date not only hopes that it will turn out to be the beginning of a “great” relationship, but you also want to feel that first date magic you hear people in the movies talk about. No matter how down- to- Earth you really, truly are, first dates are just like job interviews, very nerve-wrecking. You want so badly to make that great first impression. One of the biggest mistakes a person can ever make on a first date is to pretend to be something you aren’t just to impress the other party. There are tons of mistakes people make on first dates, but instead of devouring into each of them, let’s look at the five rules of making the first date enjoyable and creating that “first date magic” that everyone visualizes.

Rule One: Choose something you enjoy.

Many times the party who makes the plans chooses something the other person will only enjoy. This will ensure that one person will have a good time, but isn’t a date supposed to be where both people will enjoy themselves? Choosing something you enjoy offers an insight into who you are. Being honest is one of the qualities that will help gain first date magic.

Rule Two: Wear your happy, easy-to-wear, good luck, appropriate-to-wear clothes.

How many times have you heard a woman who is going on a first date proclaim, “Oh geez, I have nothing to wear!” Then they practically force themselves to have to go shopping! Again, everyone has something in his or her closet to wear, and I rather see a guy wear nice and neat clothes rather than a rigid new shirt and pants that looks like they were just starched.

Rule Three: Have time to actually get to know each other.

It’s great to have tons of stuff planned all in one date, but have some time where you two can be alone and actually talk without an audience. You want to know if the other person is worth all your time and energy in the future, and how will you know that without talking? Osmosis? Ask each other questions, talk about current events, but don’t just kiss face, get to know who the person you are spending time with is.

Rule Four: Make the date affordable.

There really is no point is having the date be about money. This is not the time to “show off” just how much money you have or make. This is about getting to know someone. BUT with that said, pick a suitable restaurant that is clean, food is eatable, and it’s easy to get too. And ladies, don’t order a salad on a date! You are not a bird, you are lady.

Rule Five: Drive yourself to and from the date.

There is no need to have him pick you up at home anymore. As nice as it is, in today’s world, I always preach “Safety First!” And besides being safe, you are always allowing yourself to get to know him at your pace. He doesn’t need to know where you live and the directions to your house on date number one. It’s the first date, not a marriage proposal. He doesn’t need to know where you live until the time comes where you trust each other with personal information.

Rule Six: You should have no more than 2 drinks on a first date.

Drinking on a first date is a sure recipe for disaster. (See Rule 10)

Rule Seven: Be memorable.

This girl has to be like this girl, and this girl needs to dress the same, they need to be popular, and even buy the same toothpaste for Pete’s Sake, just in order to be accepted. No one wants to stand out.

So, if you want to be remembered, you need to be memorable. Be proud to be different.

It is those who are willing to not give in to the crowd that actually make something of themselves as opposed to those who get to be popular for five minutes just because they joined the clique. When you give your date something to remember you by, whether it’s in how you walk, how classy you dress, or how you speak, he WILL want to see you again.

Rule Eight: Be Modest

Even if you have a whole lot to brag about, never forget where you came from.

I’ll never forget reading someone’s bio on a social site where they described themselves as “Awesome”. That girl has a lot to learn about modesty!

Its one thing to proud of your accomplishments but it’s another to constantly tell people just how popular you are, where you going, who you are hanging out with, (the big shots) and frankly, how “awesome” you are. If someone throws you a compliment, instead of saying, yeah I know! And, of course I am awesome… answering with a simple Thank you is all that is needed. That is being modest.

Rule Nine: There is nothing sexy or cute about being “Fashionably Late”

If the date is for 8:00 p.m., don’t show up at 8:30! If you are running late, make sure that you have your date’s phone number and that you can contact him or her to let them know. No one wants to think that they are being stood up. It’s the worse feeling in the world!

Call. Text. Use Social Media Messaging. But communicate if you are going to be late.

Rule Ten: The date should not be an all-night affair.

This is not a pajama party this is a first date. The key is to leave them wanting more. If you both have a great time, you are going to want date number two. If you show all your cards on the first date, why bother having a second or third? Show that you can have fun, flirt, and that you are great to be with, but don’t hand over the keys to the castle.

In conclusion, remember its okay to be nervous on a first date. Its fun to anticipate what can become from it, but if you really want to feel that first date magic, just let it happen by itself. By forcing things to happen only will create tension. And by creating tension on the first date, chances are you will have a lousy time. And having a lousy time is not something on the menu. 

You can read more on how to create a great first date and more with Stephanie Dolce’s book, “Hello Love, Where’s Cupid?” which is available on the Nook, Kindle, and paperback. Check out www.stephaniedolce.com