Stephanie’s Adventures in Singledom: The Differences Between Fact and Opinion

BY STEPHANIE DOLCE

When you touch a nerve talking about Feminism and the Men’s Movement centered against it, you’re going to get men who are going to tell you that you don’t know your behind from your elbow. (So to speak) So, to help those unfortunate, bitter souls, here are the facts I discussed all laid out:

1 – Men still make more money than women. In 2011, female full-time workers made only 77 cents for every dollar earned by men, a gender wage gap of 23 percent.

2 – Just 4% of cases actually go to trial. And mothers often get custody in large part because, on average, they’re still the primary caretakers of children. That’s not bias, and it’s not even necessarily a good thing. It’s just a fact. And you know what else is a fact: a women brought you into this world, she carried you for 9 months, and then squeezed you out an opening the size of a lemon, that’s a fact.

Statistics show 15% of fathers are granted sole custody are misleading because they include couples who have agreed to grant the mother custody or to joint custody. When men do seek primary physical custody in a disputed divorce, about half, 50% get it. That is a fact. 82% of mothers want sole custody for themselves, while 33% of fathers want sole custody. 35% of fathers want joint custody, while 15% of mothers do. So, while mothers are twice as likely to want sole custody, fathers are twice as likely to want joint custody. And those are the facts.

3 – Numbers are hard to pin down, but estimates converge at between 2 and 8% of allegations of rape being false. Remember though, there are many false accusations for many different crimes that are committed daily, not just rape.

4- Did you know that men made up about 40% of domestic violence victims; not attackers.

5- What women wanted back in the day was to be equal to men in the areas of education, workforce/career choice, salary and have a choice whether or not to have a child. That was what the Feminism Movement was SUPPPOSED to be about, not man-bashing.

Now here’s my opinion:

1 – Men are more concerned about bruised egos. If you think about it, men take pride in being the top dog. They need the attention, the paycheck, they need to be the one to ask a girl out, and they need to be the one who “takes care” of a woman. Heaven Forbid, a woman wants to take care of a man!

2 – Men are becoming increasingly upset about being rejected by women they had an interest in years ago ( or their recent ex’s) and continue to blame the entire gender for everything that has happned to them. Girls don’t reject you for their own amusement. Get over it. I know there are women out there who manipulate men and try to use them to their advantage but I am not that girl. Neither are my friends. So when you try to play games in order to avenge your broken heart, you’re hurting both of us. I have opened myself up to you and made myself vulnerable. I’ve put everything I value on the line, that doesn’t mean that I am never going to disagree with you or vice versa, but don’t blame me for your shortcomings in the relationship section of your life. All women are NOT the same!

3- Men are mad at women for being so damn superficial and they wish they would realize what an awesome person you are. I hate to break it to you, but men are more superfical than women. If you are getting mad at a girl for being picky, why don’t you try her less-fortunate looking friend sitting in the corner. You won’t because she isn’t “hot” enough for you.

Stop wanting to date a supermodel and base everything on looks. Look to what a woman can provide for you through her personality and how big her heart is. That is who is going to not only take care of you, but also maybe your future children.

4 – Women so often pretend to be stupid, especially in social situations, when there are men around. I never really get why the “blonde” syndrome rears it’s ugly head every time women are around men, but it does. Women pretend they are dumb just so they can either start a conversation with a guy or to they think that if they boost a man’s ego they are, “golden.” To all the women out there, STOP IT! There’s nothing wrong with a) not knowing something and b) actually knowing something that a man doesn’t know. Be honest, stop lying to yourself and others where smarts comes in. And that is another thing, I am blonde and I am not stupid. So the fact that we use the term, “blonde” to show smarts and dumbness, is absurb!

5 – Women compares themselves way too much with other women. I was around women all weekend and one of the topics was weight. Get ready… Not all women are going to weight 10 pounds. Get set… Not all women are going to be able to rock the same dress. Go! And not all women care about their bodies the same way that you will. What I mean by that is, not all women are going to obsess about their weight. Yes, we all from time to time will look in the mirror and go yuck, but I can tell you that I purposely am not on a diet so I can look like a Victoria’s Secret model. I watch what I eat, I exercise because I want to live a long life. I don’t give a rats behind about how good Jenny looks, and how I wish I had her body, because frankly, I am NOT Jenny. I am me and I am proud of who I am, inside and out. Women for the most part don’t focus on fixing who they are from the inside, they focus way too much on their outsides. Trust me, men aren’t going to really care if you look like Barbie once you are about to have sex with them, because you are about to have sex with them and that is all they will be caring about at that moment. They are not thinking, “Oh, if only she weighed five pounds less….”

My advice to men and women is always the same because we both are human:

A perfect relationship isn’t actually perfect at all. It’s two people who NEVER give up on each other despite any hurt or pain. Sometimes you have to be broken to realize you’ll never be shattered. Forgiveness is better then bitterness. Eventually you realize that happiness is not the absence of problems, but simply the ability to deal well with them. Don’t let one dark cloud cover the entire sky. Take a deep breath. It’s just a bad moment or a bad day, not a bad life. Finally, some people wait all day for 5:00 pm, all week for Friday, all year for the holidays, all their lives for happiness. Don’t be one of them.