Stephanie’s Adventures in Singledom: Defining Love

BY STEPHANIE DOLCE

** Reader Request Blog**

Sometimes, there’s no explaining love.

Love always seems to find a way when you least expect it too. It also is something that seems so rare in this day in age. For me to define love I would have to say that love is a warm feeling you get deep down in your soul. It is to forgive without punishing, to care unconditionally and to love someone deeply. Love is surrendering your heart and soul to that one person that loves you back with no strings attached. Defining love is not as easy as it seems, because sometimes there really are no words you can use to describe how exactly you feel for someone. Sometimes we don’t say what we feel, not because we don’t want to, but because we don’t know how. And when someone does find the words to express how they feel we should never take someone’s feelings for granted. You never know how much courage it took them to show them or say them.

The one thing I do know is that love is priceless. You can’t put a price tag on love. And with that said, one of my readers asked me not only how I would define love, but asked me to help her through a dating “crisis” with a man who is going through a divorce

Speed bumps in love are inevitable, but so is the finish line. And what people need to realize is that with divorce comes a whole entire truck load of emotions, especially when kids are involved. The one thing that I tell everyone is to make sure that each parent doesn’t put the kids in the middle or use them against each other. If the kids are old enough to know what exactly is happening, then they are probably thinking that the divorce has something to do with them, which is so far from the truth.

And what every woman who gets herself involved with a man who is going through a divorce with kids needs to understand and realize is that his children will ALWAYS be the main priority vice versa if you are dating a woman who is going through a divorce. I’m not saying that he or she can’t focus on you, your needs, or the needs of the relationship, because it’s clearly possible to do all, but what I am saying is that in the beginning of your relationship and right when the divorce is “fresh” and “new” getting the children to understand what is happening and why it is happening is going to be the main concern, as it should be.

If you’re having a hard time deciding what you should do next, I can tell you that the best thing to do is to let him know that you are there for him in any capacity he needs. Sure, he has been burned in the past, and he needs to start trusting people again. But what he doesn’t need is pressure from you or any outside people telling him to just snap his fingers and it’s all, “gonna work out.”

And sure he’s got baggage that’s can’t fit in the overhead compartment. The time to unpack it will happen, but you need to let him be the one to unpack it at his pace, not yours. Patience on your part is key. If you really want to be with him, then that is what you will need to do: be patient.

Love is wanting nothing more but to see them happy. Love is having that strong feeling regardless of circumstance or characteristics. Love is not just about sexual intimacy or attraction. When you are willing to put someone else’s welfare before anything else, you are feeling love. Love is courageous, breaking all barriers and not caring what people think. Love has nothing to do with the beauty of a person on the outside, but what is on the inside that makes you feel like a part of you would be missing if you could never see them again. Love is friendship caught on fire!

The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in.

Love doesn’t make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.