Stephanie’s Adventures in Singledom: Talk is Cheap

BY STEPHANIE DOLCE

Big talkers are everywhere.

We run into them all the time it seems. They make brash promises, statements, and even make complicated plans often with no intention whatsoever of following through.

People seem to always be full of empty words.

People say one thing and do another.

Most people I know, including myself, would rather be told the truth then to be lead on an impossible goose chase we are never going to win. This is how it feels on the carousel of dating.

Not only do I find guys who I have tons in common with but I find guys that arouse my sexuality to the point where I think this is going to be one awesome relationship. To only have another let down because this guy was only good at the build-up and not the follow through.

I think its funny that you can meet some great guys, try to develop a relationship with them, and then once it leads to talking about having an actual relationship and action must be taken these guys run away like little girls.

I don’t know if its because they have insecurities or what, but the more fish in the sea I talk to, the more I see that these guys cannot keep up with a girl who is 1) comfortable with her sexuality and 2) confident in herself.

It almost seems to me that a guy prefers a girl who is coy, shy, and helpless, rather than a girl who puts herself “out there.” I have been told though, by a guy friend of mine that he prefers “the naughty” he just likes to “find out that she is that way without knowing that 100% upfront.”

Well, my question in turn is this, Why do we have to pretend to be someone we aren’t? Isn’t it always better to be upfront and know what you are getting yourself into or do you really want that “surprise” later on?

I prefer to be myself. Period.

I don’t want to lead a guy on to believe that I like him and that we are going to “eventually” roll around when I know in my heart that is never going to happen.

And I also don’t want to just “pretend” I like a guy, just to be nice, when in fact the nicer you are the more you get hurt and the more you get nothing. When you are a little sassy, a little sensual, and a little sweet everyone seems to want a piece of you. Until of course they find out that you are the “go-getter, a little aggressive type,” then oh, they don’t know what to do or how to act!

If I end up talking big, I know that I am going to follow through. For me, in the end, actions always speak louder than words. Any man can tell you that they want you, need you, and love you, but only the real men know how to follow through.

And in this game called dating, the biggest thing I have learned is this: guys don’t chase things that they don’t think they have to chase. That is, if they know that they have you, there’s no need to chase. Flirt with them, let them know that you want them, but let them “earn” you. And to whomever wants to be with me: You want to be with me, then be with me. You want to play games, then date Milton Bradley.