Stephanie’s Adventures in Singledom

BY STEPHANIE DOLCE

When something happens to you that has never happened before shouldn’t you at least have to find out what that is before you reject what could be the possibility of a great relationship?

A survey released by The National Association of Retired Persons in 2003, revealed that one-third of the single women between 40-60 years old, are dating younger men, braving the “rocking the cradle” jokes. And this phenomenon has continued even stronger in 2013. Think of Samantha Jones from Sex and the City and see just why the trend started in 2003 and has continued.

Older women look more appealing to younger guys for a variety of reasons. There is the fact that older women will not play love games and know exactly what they want. Some of them may not want the family, and all that goes with the picket fence, but as a woman’s biological clock ticks even louder, that idea may change. Younger men often find older women more interesting, experimental, fun to talk to, financially settled, and more adept sexually. As one guy in his twenties told me, “I guess it could be nice to not hang around a ditz with no knowledge of life, music, or something like that.”

Age doesn’t always determine maturity. There are men in their twenties that can give any man in their forties a run for his money. Maturity has nothing to do with age but it is the actions & behaviors that you display during adverse situations that do.

A twenty-eight year old guy told me flat out what attracts him to older women: “The experiences in life they’ve had make them more grounded and realistic. I have a preference for women starting at about ten years older than myself and up. It’s adventurous for both of us, because it is a while new exciting journey. Younger women just don’t let me grow in the ways older women do.” He added, “You have 30, 40, and 50 year old women today who look like they are 25, and you can’t even tell the difference!”

35% of men were willing to commit to a woman 10 or more years older, while 32% of women were willing to make a long term attachment to a man 10 or more years younger. No one should date or marry someone to please their family, the community or your friends. Remember, you should marry and/or commit to someone because you love them, share dreams, and have that mutual respect for them. Choose a partner that best suits you- no one else.

I love how talking to one my best friends about this and when told her that I was interested in a guy younger than me, she gave me that “look” and said, “You really want a date a twenty-something?” And then she added, “What do you guys have in common?”

Actually, a lot. He loves sports. I love sports. He is energetic, I am energetic. He has goals and dreams, and I have goals and dreams. I have more in common with him, than I do with anyone who is about my age or older.

We have to stop this idea that there is the “perfect” person for us and that age is of the utmost importance.

Fun has no age limit. Love has no age limit. Age is only a number. Age has extremely little to do with anything that matters. Never let the age difference come between you and the one that can possibly be your soul-mate, because the saying is true: you never know.

To move forward in life, it is often necessary to move out of your comfort zone – which can be unsettling. Age shouldn’t matter- nothing should matter. Love knows , no such thing. True intimacy is the experience of real acceptance and authentic vulnerability without feeling the need to apologize or fear rejection.

Life’s not all about looks and glory. Life is about living it. And who wants to live it alone when you can be with someone who can bring out the best in you and who will love you for you? A life without risk is no life at all.

And if you are afraid to meet someone because of this fear, and see this person’s inner beauty, then my friend, you have missed out on something that even Romeo and Juliet would ask, “What are you waiting for?”