My movie run-down for Oscar season

After a two-year hiatus, Rockland County Times humor columnist Ella Steinbeck returns (albeit with an unexpected Oscar preview rather than a dose of side-splitting comedy)

BY ELLA STEINBECK

“Phantom Thread:” Daniel Day Lewis, this is not how you want to go out. You can’t retire on this one. It was a silly story. Like a caricature of a dress maker or I don’t know what. Just silly feeling. Did anyone notice that he called his sister “my old so-and-so” until we found out she was his sister and then they never said that phrase again. It was a pretty movie. I’ll give you that. Lewis moved gracefully throughout the film too. If you really want to see it who am I to stop you.

“Get Out:” Lots of fun! See it. I wouldn’t have thought “Oscars” necessarily but I enjoyed it very much. See it

“Lady Bird:” I enjoyed the vulnerability of the actors but the story just didn’t do it for me. My hopes and expectations were not met. I felt like it was OK but if I hadn’t seen it I wouldn’t feel as though I missed anything. . If you really want to see it who am I to stop you

“The Post:” A solid story and a wonderful cast. See it

“I, Tonya:” Good enough to check out. Margot didn’t really play Tonya meek and mild but as more of a bully. Tonya always seemed “small” to me so the “bully” portrayal didn’t feel authentic. On the other hand, I don’t love child abuse or spousal abuse as a “punch line” as it was in the movie but it was a solid story. . If you really want to see it who am I to stop you

“The Florida Project:” It’s great if you need a nap. A little too boring for me. It’s like little rascals on steroids. Maybe it was a modern day Little Rascals re-make? It’s the type of movie you hope is going somewhere. Anywhere. Then when it’s over you say “I watched all of that and nobody died or got killed? Total waste of time”.  I’d actually physically stop you from seeing this.

“Darkest Hour:” A little boring but the actors were solid. I don’t think Churchill was as confused and doddering as the way he was portrayed in the film.  To quote a friend of mine “it’s like watching Gary Oldman run around the set looking for his Oscar”. If you really want to see it who am I to stop you

“The Shape Of Water:” Very beautifully shot. I liked it. If you have been looking for a very dark and edgy ET meets Splash type of movie…this is for you! See it

“Three Billboards:” I love Frances McDormand. The movie was powerful until it jumped the shark a little too far for my taste. I’d still say… See it

My real picks for the season if the Oscars asked me would be…

“American Made:” If you haven’t seen it find it and check it out! I really enjoyed the story and Tom Cruise. See it 

“Good Time:” A movie that may not have made it to your radar. A dark dark dark comedy that will make you laugh and cringe. See it 

“I Don’t Feel At Home In This World Anymore:” My absolute favorite film of the year.  You can see it on Netflix. So fun! So clever! I laughed. I really laughed! See it

“All The Money In The World:” Loved it! Christopher Plummer was excellent!  See it