Subscribe by Email

Things Could Be Worse
Posted November 21st, 2013

BY JOHN MALONEY, The Spectator

Well, it looks like Obamacare has gone to the emergency room for treatment and perhaps down the drain. That’s bad for a lot of people…The Yanks had a terrible season and that wasn’t good…The football Giants need a miracle to make the play-offs and that isn’t good…The Social Security increase for next year is the smallest ever and that’s not good news!

But things could be worse! I’ve made a list of things that you know are going to make for a bad day when they happen:

· Your twin brother forgets your birthday.
· An IRS agent arrives at your door with five accountants.
· Your boss asks you how close you are to retirement age.
· You put your bra on backwards and it fits better.
· You go to the bank to deposit your life savings and the teller is wearing a ski-mask.
· At your bachelor party, your wife to be is the stripper!
· You reach into your pocket for your wallet and find another hand there.
· Your brother tells you that you were adopted.
· You learn that your wife was previously married to a Mafia hit man.
· Lady Gaga calls and says “You’re her kind of guy.”
· You board a Clarkstown Mini-trans and discover the driver has a seeing eye dog!
· Lawn doctor pulls the plug on your lawn.
· You forget to play a daily Lotto number for your friend and it hits for $3,000!
· Your high school ask you to return your diploma.
· You clean your chimney in June and discover Santa Claus stuck there!
· You find last year’s Christmas cards unmailed in your car trunk.

Yes, it’s a bad day when:

· The shoes under your bed are a size twelve and you wear a nine!
· Your cat brings home a rare bald eagle in its mouth.
· Your wife, taking her driver’s test, backs into a car with flashing red lights.
· You go to a class reunion and nobody knows who you are.
· Pope Francis is asking you to leave Rom and never return.
· When your bride goes on the honeymoon with the best man.
· When aliens from outer space refuse to abduct you.
· You go to a legislature meeting and everything seems to make sense.
· You go to take a bath and there’s an alligator in your tub!
· The Avon lady rings your doorbell and she’s holding a shotgun!
· Your doctor tells you to take one pill a day for the rest of your life and he only gives you five

Yes dear readers, there are good days and bad days. Thank God for all the good ones!

You must be logged in to post a comment Login